Tasha's Train of Thoughts...

Ok, so keeping up with the blogger in me, I must post today. Although I said I didn't wanna include Nylah Bean on this page, I haven't set up the other page yet, so I must vent. I put Nylah in pre-school 2 weeks ago. Shes 2 1/2. As her mother I felt this would be a wonderful experience for her, exposing her to new surrounding and people. Lets just say its been trying. One day it was, she didnt wanna sit down or switch activities, another day it was she didnt want to eat her lunch and wanted to play. Nothing terrible but I am feeling like shes getting labeled as the "disruptive child" in class. THe class is small, only 10 or so kids, so the "bad" one will stand out.

Nylah is the only child. She pretty much does what she likes here because there is no one else to compete with. Shes well aware of her limits with me. Not much. I discipline her as needed and I have no problem with a spanking, if needed. Call me old school. And doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible...Proverbs or something. Well, whatever it is. I agree that a spanking within reason is justified. But that's not why I'm writing. I'm upset. I arrive at Nylahs school to day, to be informed that Nylah was terrible today: disobeying her teacher, telling her "no" or "no thanks" when TOLD, not asked to do something, getting out of her seat or area, switching her directive to what she wanted. ALL OF IT. I almost got a call. I was devastated. Let me tell you. I know when parents hear stuff about their kids, we go into protective Momma Bear mode. But what could I do today? Nothing but ask Nylah to apologize , apologize myself, and leave. Which is what I did. I was angry, embarrassed, hurt, upset, frustrated to say the least. Her teachers main concern is her saying "NO" when told to do something, and the others kids following suit. She feels shes ready to be there, but that behavior needs to be corrected. Jermaine and I try out hardest to correct this at home, which is sometimes trying because she will say "NO THANK YOU", using her manners. I tell her, thank you for being polite, but Im not asking you, Im telling you. I just dont know what to do. Nylah likes school. I never had a problem with her staying. She waves bye to me. Hugs her teacher when she sees her. Is excited to get dressed and put on her backpack and lunch box. *sigh* Im just second guessing myself. Feeling like a failure as a parent. (Not all together, just in this aspect).

I put her on "punishment" when we got home: no snack or cartoons. She cried herself to sleep. It broke my heart, but I didnt know what else to do. I had to hit her where it hurts: she loves snacks and cartoons. So we will see. I guess I will give it another week. If this behavior continues, I may have to accept thats shes not ready and retry again in January. Pray for her sake and my sanity.